On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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