I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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