we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
