Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
