i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
