too bad you live with your parents still
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
