Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
