Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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