in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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