I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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