so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
