What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
