Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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