2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
