you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
