my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
