I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
