wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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