your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
