are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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