WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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