no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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