there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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