His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
