YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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