I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
