She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
