Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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