i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
