the condom got lost in my hair
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
this must be what syphilis tastes like
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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