Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
