We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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