i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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