we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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