I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
