that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
