the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
