The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
