is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
