Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
