what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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