We won't sleep together?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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