i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
a search helicopter?!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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