I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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