Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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