it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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