No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
