Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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