I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
