Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
