she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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