pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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