is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
