I showed him my bush... on skype.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
