do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
