I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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