no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
